Cause in New York
53
These brethren, by remaining in a family community, are being
dwarfed in mental and spiritual strength. It is not the best policy for
children of one, two, or three families that are connected by marriage,
to settle within a few miles of one another. The influence is not
good on the parties. The business of one is the business of all. The
perplexities and troubles which every family must experience more
or less, and which, as far as possible, should be confined within the
limits of the family circle, are extended to family connections, and
have a bearing upon the religious meetings. There are matters which
should not be known to a third person, however friendly and closely
connected he may be. Individuals and families should bear them.
But the close relationship of several families, brought into constant
intercourse, has a tendency to break down the dignity which should
be maintained in every family. In performing the delicate duty of
reproving and admonishing, there will be danger of injuring feelings,
unless it be done with the greatest tenderness and care. The best
models of character are liable to errors and mistakes, and great care
should be exercised that too much is not made of little things.
Such family and church relationship as exists in-----is very pleasant
to the natural feelings; but it is not the best, all things considered,
for the development of symmetrical Christian characters. The close
relationship and the familiar associations with one another, while
united in church capacity, render the influence feeble. That dignity,
that high regard, confidence, and love that make a prosperous church
is not preserved. All parties would be much happier to be separated
and to visit occasionally, and their influence upon one another would
be tenfold greater.
United as these families are by marriage, and mingling as they do
in one another’s society, each is awake to the faults and errors of the
others, and feels in duty bound to correct them; and because these
relatives are really dear to one another, they are grieved over little
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things that they would not notice in those not so closely connected.
Keen sufferings of mind are endured, because feelings will arise with
some that they have not been treated impartially and with all that
consideration which they deserved. Petty jealousies sometimes arise,
and molehills become mountains. These little misunderstandings and
petty variances cause more severe suffering of mind than do trials that
come from other sources.