Chapter 23—Selfishness in the Church and in the
Family
Dear Brother M,
I have been shown in vision that you have defects in your character
which must be remedied. You are not right in your views and feelings
in regard to your wife. You do not appreciate her. She has not received
the words of sympathy and love from you that you should have given
her. It would not lessen the dignity of your manhood to praise her for
the care she takes and the burdens she bears in the family.
You are selfish and exacting. You mark little things and talk of
small errors in your wife and children. In short, you seek to gauge their
consciences by your own; you try to be conscience for them. Your
wife has an identity of her own, which can never be merged in that
of her husband. She has an individuality which she should preserve,
for she is accountable before God for herself. You cannot, Brother
M, be responsible before God for the character your wife forms. She
alone will bear this responsibility. God is just as willing to impress
the conscience of your God-fearing wife as He is to impress your
conscience for her.
You expect too much of your wife and children. You censure too
much. If you would encourage a cheerful, happy temper yourself, and
speak kindly and tenderly to them, you would bring sunlight into your
dwelling instead of clouds, sorrow, and unhappiness. You think too
much of your opinion; you have taken extreme positions and have
not been willing that your wife’s judgment should have the weight it
should in your family. You have not encouraged respect for your wife
yourself nor educated your children to respect her judgment. You have
not made her your equal, but have rather taken the reins of government
and control into your own hands and held them with a firm grasp.
You have not an affectionate, sympathetic disposition. These traits of
character you need to cultivate if you want to be an overcomer and if
you want the blessing of God in your family.
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