Marriage, Home, Family
175
Invite the Softening, Subduing Spirit of God to Settle Differences
Portion of a long letter written to Mrs. Mary Nelson on March 19,
1902. Ellen White tried to give the Nelsons counsel that would unite
them as a family once again
.
Your children need a father, you need a husband, and your husband
needs a wife. You need the help of your husband, and you both need
the help of the Saviour. Both of you should cultivate faith. Your
children need a father who will wear Christ’s yoke, a father who will
submit his will to God’s will, to be molded and fashioned by the divine
hand.
My brother, my sister, for some time you have not been living
together. You should not have pursued this course, and would not have
done so, if both of you had been cultivating the patience, kindness, and
forbearance that should ever exist between husband and wife. Neither
of you should set up your own will and try to carry out your individual
ideas and plans, whatever the consequences may be. Neither of you
should be determined to do as you please. Let the softening, subduing
influence of the Spirit of God work upon your hearts, and fit you for the
work of training your children. Your work, under God, is to mold and
fashion their characters. In order to lay hold on the strength and power
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that the Lord alone can give you, you must exercise faith. Appeal
to your heavenly Father to keep you from yielding to the temptation
to speak in an impatient, harsh, willful manner to each other—the
husband to the wife, and the wife to the husband. Both of you have
imperfect characters. Because you have not been under God’s control,
your conduct toward each other has been unwise.
I beseech you to bring yourselves under God’s control. When
tempted to speak provokingly, refrain from saying anything. You will
be tempted on this point, because you have never overcome this objec-
tionable trait of character. But every wrong habit must be overcome.
Make a complete surrender to God. Fall on the Rock, Christ Jesus, and
be broken. As husband and wife, discipline yourselves. Go to Christ
for help. He will willingly supply you with His divine sympathy, His
free grace. He who for thirty years was a faithful son, working at the
carpenter’s trade in order to do His share in bearing the burdens of the
family firm, will give His followers strength faithfully to do their part
in sharing the burdens of homelife.