Responsibilities of Parenthood
195
Parents Can Be Too Indulgent
In 1871 Ellen White wrote to her friends, Brother and Sister Bailey,
about their indulgence toward their children
.
Dear Friends, Brother and Sister Bailey,
I have been feeling it to be my duty to write you since I have been
writing for others the things that have been shown me in regard to
them. I have had some things to write to you but have not felt free to
write until now. When at your house if a favorable opportunity had
presented, I should have spoken to you and relieved my mind. Since
my returning home, I do not feel free unless I write to you.
I have had much writing to do in regard to the errors of parents in
properly instructing their children and the result upon their children.
Your course was opened before me. You have both been too indulgent
to your children. Your dangers and errors are not seen and realized so
fully as to lead you to take a position you should in your family and
command your household after you.
God in His great mercy has brought the truth to your knowledge.
You love the truth. You see its claims upon you. It has wrought a
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reformation in the life and has led you to have a deep interest in the
spiritual welfare of your children. All this is in accordance with the
Spirit of God. But while you feel thus anxious you fail seriously to do
the work the Lord has left you as parents to do. Your children have not
been restrained. They have been indulged to their injury. They have
not been brought into subjection as God requires.
There has been a serious lack with you in the training of your
children. Your daughter especially has been petted. Your sons have
not been educated aright. Your daughter has been petted and indulged
until her practical usefulness is very small. Her attention has been
mostly directed to herself until her mind has become supremely selfish
and centered upon herself. If she has had indisposition, she is averse
to labor. She has been favored and excused from any exertion. You
have talked before her that she was not well. Her imagination has been
excited in this direction. The mother has borne the heavy burdens
she should have shared with the daughter and with her sons. The
mother would have been spared much suffering in consequence of
acute attacks by disease, could she have had the help she might have
had from her children, especially her daughter. Such labor would have