264
The Great Controversy 1888
good gifts were so perverted as to exert an influence against the Word
of God. By association with these men, Miller was led to adopt
their sentiments. The current interpretations of Scripture presented
difficulties which seemed to him insurmountable; yet his new belief,
while setting aside the Bible, offered nothing better to take its place,
and he remained far from satisfied. He continued to hold these views,
however, for about twelve years. But at the age of thirty-four, the Holy
Spirit impressed his heart with a sense of his condition as a sinner. He
found in his former belief no assurance of happiness beyond the grave.
The future was dark and gloomy. Referring afterward to his feelings
at this time, he said:—
“Annihilation was a cold and chilling thought, and accountability
was sure destruction to all. The heavens were as brass over my head,
and the earth as iron under my feet. Eternity—what was it? And
death—why was it? The more I reasoned, the further I was from
demonstration. The more I thought, the more scattered were my
conclusions. I tried to stop thinking; but my thoughts would not be
controlled. I was truly wretched, but did not understand the cause. I
murmured and complained, but knew not of whom. I knew that there
was a wrong, but knew not where or how to find the right. I mourned,
but without hope.”
In this state he continued for some months. “Suddenly,” he says,
“the character of a Saviour was vividly impressed upon my mind.
[319]
It seemed that there might be a being so good and compassionate
as to himself atone for our transgressions, and thereby save us from
suffering the penalty of sin. I immediately felt how lovely such a being
must be, and imagined that I could cast myself into the arms, and trust
in the mercy, of such a One. But the question arose, How can it be
proved that such a being does exist? Aside from the Bible, I found that
I could get no evidence of the existence of such a Saviour, or even of a
future state.”
“I saw that the Bible did bring to view just such a Saviour as I
needed; and I was perplexed to find how an uninspired book should
develop principles so perfectly adapted to the wants of a fallen world.
I was constrained to admit that the Scriptures must be a revelation
from God. They became my delight; and in Jesus I found a friend.
The Saviour became to me the chiefest among ten thousand; and the
Scriptures, which before were dark and contradictory, now became