14
Life Sketches of Ellen G. White
At this time I began to pray the Lord to prepare me for death.
When Christian friends visited the family, they would ask my mother
if she had talked with me about dying. I overheard this, and it roused
me. I desired to become a Christian, and prayed earnestly for the
forgiveness of my sins. I felt a peace of mind resulting, and loved
every one, feeling desirous that all should have their sins forgiven, and
love Jesus as I did.
I gained strength very slowly. As I became able to join in play
with my young friends, I was forced to learn the bitter lesson that
our personal appearance often makes a difference in the treatment we
receive from our companions.
Education
My health seemed to be hopelessly impaired. For two years I could
not breathe through my nose, and was able to attend school but little.
It seemed impossible for me to study and to retain what I learned. The
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same girl who was the cause of my misfortune, was appointed monitor
by our teacher, and it was among her duties to assist me in my writing
and other lessons. She always seemed sincerely sorry for the great
injury she had done me, although I was careful not to remind her of it.
She was tender and patient with me, and seemed sad and thoughtful as
she saw me laboring under serious disadvantages to get an education.
My nervous system was prostrated, and my hand trembled so that
I made but little progress in writing, and could get no farther than the
simple copies in coarse hand. As I endeavored to bend my mind to
my studies, the letters in the page would run together, great drops of
perspiration would stand upon my brow, and a faintness and dizziness
would seize me. I had a bad cough, and my whole system seemed
debilitated.
My teachers advised me to leave school, and not pursue my studies
further till my health should improve. It was the hardest struggle of
my young life to yield to my feebleness, and decide that I must leave
my studies, and give up the hope of gaining an education.
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