Chapter 2—Cautions and Counsels
A Child Bride [
The age of this girl at the time of her marriage is
not known.
]—Poor girl! She married when but a mere child, needing
her mother’s care. It was an unhappy event. She was a young child.
Her health was poor and her husband was severe and arbitrary. This
child was too young for a companion. He could not respect her as
such. She was but a child. He ruled her like a tyrant. Already they
are parted, she hating him most thoroughly and he without love for
her.—
Manuscript 4, 1873
.
Long Engagements Not Wise—I am sorry that you have entan-
gled yourself in any courtship with Nellie A. In the first place, your
anxiety upon this question is premature. Sound judgment and discre-
tion will bid you wait for one or two years. But for you to select one
to be in your mind and affections that length of time would not be
prudent for you or just to the one to whom you pay your address.
Premature Affections—I speak what I know in this matter, that
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the very best course for you and for Nellie is to give this matter up
entirely, for no good can come of it. In continuing your attentions to
her, you will be unfitting yourself for your office duties and placing
obstructions in your way for a thorough education and for the habits
of body and mind to become settled. Even to bind your affections
prematurely is doing yourself and any young lady injustice....
I have been shown the evil of these early attachments, especially
when a young man is away from the home roof and must select his
companion without the discriminating eye of his mother. It is not safe
for you to trust to your own judgment. Early anxiety upon the subject
of courtship and marriage will divert your mind from your work and
studies, and will produce in you and the one whom you flatter with
your attentions a demoralizing influence. There will be in you both
a vain forwardness in manners, and infatuation will seize you both,
and you will be so completely blinded in regard to your influence and
example that you will, if you continue in the course you have entered
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