Chapter 3—Individuality
Individuality of the Wife—A woman that will submit to be ever
dictated to in the smallest matters of domestic life, who will yield up
her identity, will never be of much use or blessing in the world, and
will not answer the purpose of God in her existence. She is a mere
machine to be guided by another’s will and another’s mind. God has
given each one, men and women, an identity, an individuality, that
they must act in the fear of God for themselves.—
Letter 25, 1885
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Separate Identity of Husband and Wife—I was shown that al-
though a couple were married, gave themselves to each other by a
most solemn vow in the sight of heaven and holy angels, and the two
were one, yet each had a separate identity which the marriage covenant
could not destroy. Although bound to one another, yet each has an
influence to exert in the world, and they should not be so selfishly
engrossed with each other as to shut themselves away from society
and bury their usefulness and influence.—
Letter 9, 1864
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A Passive Wife—Let the wife decide that it is the husband’s pre-
rogative to have full control of her body, and to mold her mind to
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suit his in every respect, to run in the same channel as his own, and
she yields her individuality; her identity is lost, merged in that of her
husband. She is a mere machine for his will to move and control, a
creature of his pleasure. He thinks for her, decides for her, and acts for
her. She dishonors God in occupying this passive position. She has a
responsibility before God, which it is her duty to preserve.
When the wife yields her body and mind to the control of her hus-
band, being passive to his will in all things, sacrificing her conscience,
her dignity, and even her identity, she loses the opportunity of exerting
that mighty influence for good which she should possess, to elevate
her husband.—
The Review and Herald, September 26, 1899
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Love for Christ, Love for Each Other—Neither the husband nor
the wife should merge his or her individuality in that of the other. Each
has a personal relation to God. Of Him each is to ask, “What is right?”
“What is wrong?” “How may I best fulfill life’s purpose?” Let the
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