Personal Experience
239
After we returned from the funeral, my home seemed lonely. I felt
reconciled to the will of God, yet despondency and gloom settled upon
me. We could not rise above the discouragements of the past summer.
From the state of God’s people we knew not what to expect. Satan
had gained control of the minds of some who were closely connected
with us in the work, even of some who had been acquainted with
our mission and seen the fruit of our labors, and who had not only
witnessed the frequent manifestation of the power of God, but had
felt its influence upon their own bodies. What could we hope for in
the future? While my child lived, I thought I understood my duty. I
pressed my dear babe to my heart and rejoiced that at least for one
winter I should be released from any great responsibility, for it could
not be my duty to travel in winter with my infant. But when he was
taken from me, I was again thrown into great perplexity.
The condition of God’s cause and people nearly crushed us. Our
happiness ever depends upon the state of the cause of God. When His
people are in a prosperous condition, we feel free; but when they are
backslidden and there is discord among them, nothing can make us
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joyful. Our whole interest and life have been interwoven with the rise
and progress of the third angel’s message. We are bound up in it, and
when it does not prosper, we experience great suffering of mind.
About this time, my husband, as he reviewed the past, began to
lose confidence in almost everyone. Many of those whom he had
tried to befriend had acted the part of enemies, and some whom he
had helped the most by his influence and from his own scanty purse,
were continually trying to injure him and cast burdens upon him. One
Sabbath morning, as he was going to our place of worship, such an
overpowering sense of injustice came over him that he turned aside
and wept aloud, while the congregation waited for him.
From the commencement of our labors we have been called to
bear a plain, pointed testimony, to reprove wrongs and spare not. And
all the way there have been those who have stood in opposition to
our testimony, and have followed after to speak smooth things, daub
with untempered mortar, and destroy the influence of our labors. The
Lord would rein us up to bear reproof, and then individuals would step
right in between us and the people to make our testimony of no effect.
Many visions have been given to the effect that we must not shun to
declare the counsel of the Lord, but must occupy a position to stir