Feelings of Despair
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nights were spent by me in earnest prayer for those whom I had sought
out and brought together for the purpose of laboring and praying with
them.
Some of these had met with us from curiosity to hear what I had to
say; others thought me beside myself to be so persistent in my efforts,
especially when they manifested no concern on their own part. But at
every one of our little meetings I continued to exhort and pray for each
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one separately, until every one had yielded to Jesus, acknowledging
the merits of His pardoning love. Every one was converted to God.
Night after night in my dreams I seemed to be laboring for the
salvation of souls. At such times special cases were presented to my
mind; these I afterward sought out and prayed with. In every instance
but one these persons yielded themselves to the Lord. Some of our
more formal brethren feared that I was too zealous for the conversion
of souls, but time seemed to me so short that it behooved all who had
a hope of a blessed immortality and looked for the soon coming of
Christ, to labor without ceasing for those who were still in their sins
and standing on the awful brink of ruin.
Though I was very young, the plan of salvation was so clear to
my mind, and my personal experience had been so marked, that, upon
considering the matter, I knew it was my duty to continue my efforts
for the salvation of precious souls and to pray and confess Christ at
every opportunity. My entire being was offered to the service of my
Master. Let come what would, I determined to please God, and live
as one who expected the Saviour to come and reward the faithful. I
felt like a little child coming to God as to my father, and asking Him
what He would have me to do. Then as my duty was made plain to me,
it was my greatest happiness to perform it. Peculiar trials sometimes
beset me. Those older in experience than myself endeavored to hold
me back and cool the ardor of my faith; but with the smiles of Jesus
brightening my life, and the love of God in my heart, I went on my
way with a joyful spirit.
As often as I recall the experience of my early life, my brother,
the confidant of my hopes and fears, the earnest sympathizer with
me in my Christian experience, comes to my mind with a flood of
tender memories. He was one of those to whom sin presents but few
temptations. Naturally devotional, he never sought the society of the
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young and gay, but chose rather the company of Christians whose