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Testimonies for the Church Volume 1
to speak to all interested. What appeared in Testimony No. 11 concern-
ing the Health Institute should not have been given until I was able to
write out all I had seen in regard to it. I intended to say nothing upon
the subject in No. 11, and sent all the manuscript that I designed for
that Testimony from Ottawa County, where I was then laboring, to the
office at Battle Creek, stating that I wished them to hasten out that little
work, as it was much needed, and as soon as possible I would write
No. 12, in which I designed to speak freely and fully concerning the
Institute. The brethren at Battle Creek who were especially interested
in the Institute knew I had seen that our people should contribute of
their means to establish such an institution. They therefore wrote to
me that the influence of my testimony in regard to the Institute was
needed immediately to move the brethren upon the subject, and that
the publication of No. 11 would be delayed till I could write.
This was a great trial to me, as I knew I could not write out all I
had seen, for I was then speaking to the people six or eight times a
week, visiting from house to house, and writing hundreds of pages of
personal testimonies and private letters. This amount of labor, with
unnecessary burdens and trials thrown upon me, unfitted me for labor
of any kind. My health was poor, and my mental sufferings were
beyond description. Under these circumstances I yielded my judgment
to that of others and wrote what appeared in No. 11 in regard to the
Health Institute, being unable then to give all I had seen. In this I did
wrong. I must be allowed to know my own duty better than others can
know it for me, especially concerning matters which God has revealed
to me. I shall be blamed by some for speaking as I now speak. Others
will blame me for not speaking before. The disposition manifested to
crowd the matter of the Institute so fast has been one of the heaviest
trials I have ever borne. If all who have used my testimony to move
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the brethren had been equally moved by it themselves, I should be
better satisfied. Should I delay longer to speak my views and feelings,
I should be blamed the more both by those who think I should have
spoken sooner and by those also who may think I should not give any
cautions. For the good of those at the head of the work, for the good
of the cause and the brethren, and to save myself great trials, I have
freely spoken.