Sketch of Experience
537
had invested everything in this cause, and had considered no sacrifice
too great for me to make in order to advance it. I had not allowed
affection for my loved babes to hold me back from performing my
duty as God required it in His cause. Maternal love throbbed just as
strongly in my heart as in the heart of any mother that lived, yet I
had separated from my nursing children and allowed another to act
the part of mother to them. I had given unmistakable evidences of
my interest in, and devotion to, the cause of God. I have shown by
my works how dear it was to me. Could any produce stronger proof
than myself? Were they zealous in the cause of truth? I more. Were
they devoted to it? I could prove greater devotion than anyone living
engaged in the work. Had they suffered for the truth’s sake? I more.
I had not counted my life dear unto me. I had not shunned reproach,
suffering, or hardships. When friends and relatives had despaired of
my life, because disease was preying upon me, I had been borne in my
husband’s arms to the boat or cars. At one time, after traveling until
midnight, we found ourselves in the city of Boston without means. On
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two or three occasions we walked by faith seven miles. We traveled as
far as my strength would allow and then knelt on the ground and prayed
for strength to proceed. Strength was given, and we were enabled to
labor earnestly for the good of souls. We allowed no obstacle to deter
us from duty or separate us from the work.
The spirit manifested in this meeting distressed me greatly. I re-
turned home still burdened, as those present made no effort to relieve
me by acknowledging that they were convinced that they had mis-
judged me and that their suspicions and accusations against me were
unjust. They could not condemn me, neither did they make any effort
to relieve me.
For fifteen months my husband had been so feeble that he had not
carried his watch or purse, or driven his own team when riding out.
But with the present year he had taken his watch and purse, the latter
empty in consequence of our great expenses, and had driven his own
team. He had, during his sickness, refused at different times to accept
money from his brethren to the amount of nearly one thousand dollars,
telling them that when he was in want he would let them know it.
We were at last brought to want. My husband felt it his duty, before
becoming dependent, to first sell what we could spare. He had some
few things at the office, and scattered among the brethren in Battle