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the brother with me urged me to wait to have a chair made, which
[594]
would cost only three dollars less. The chair offered for seventeen
dollars possessed the real value in itself; but I yielded to the judgment
of another, waited to see the cheaper chair put together, paid for it
myself, and had it carried to my husband. The report concerning our
extravagance in purchasing this chair I met in Wisconsin and Iowa.
But who can condemn me? Had I the same to do over again, I would
do as I did, with this exception: I would rely upon my own judgment,
and purchase a chair costing a few dollars more, and worth double
the one I got. Satan sometimes so influences minds as to destroy all
feelings of mercy or compassion. The iron seems to enter the heart,
and both the human and the divine disappear.
Reports also reached me that a sister had stated in Memphis and
Lapeer that the Battle Creek church had not the slightest confidence
in Sister White’s testimony. The question was asked if this referred
to the written testimony. The answer was, No, not to her published
visions, but to the testimonies borne in meeting to the church, because
her life contradicts them. I again requested an interview with a few
select, experienced brethren and sisters, including the persons who had
circulated these things. I there requested that they would now show me
wherein my life had not been in accordance with my teachings. If my
life had been so inconsistent as to warrant the statement that the church
at Battle Creek had not the slightest confidence in my testimony, it
could not be a difficult matter to present the proofs of my unchristian
course. They could produce nothing to justify the statements made, and
they confessed that they were all wrong in the reports circulated, and
that their suspicions and jealousies were unfounded. I freely forgave
those who had injured us, and told them that all I would ask on their
part was to counteract the influence they had exerted against us, and I
would be satisfied. They promised to do this, but have not done it.
[595]
Many other reports against us, all either utterly false or greatly
exaggerated, were freely talked over in different families at the time
of the Conference, and most looked upon us, especially my husband,
with suspicion. Some persons of influence manifested a disposition
to crush us. We were in want, and my husband had tried to sell loose
property, and he was thought to be wrong for this. He had stated his
willingness to have his brethren make up the loss of our cow, and this
was looked upon as a grievous sin. Supposing that our property at