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Testimonies for the Church Volume 1
Up to the time of my first vision I could not write; my trembling
hand was unable to hold my pen steadily. While in vision, I was
commanded by an angel to write the vision. I obeyed, and wrote
readily. My nerves were strengthened, and my hand became steady.
It was a great cross for me to relate to the erring what had been
shown me concerning them. It caused me great distress to see others
troubled or grieved. And when obliged to declare the messages, I
would often soften them down, and make them appear as favorable for
the individual as I could, and then would go by myself and weep in
agony of spirit. I looked upon those who had only their own souls to
care for, and thought if I were in their condition I would not murmur.
It was hard to relate the plain, cutting testimonies given me of God.
I anxiously watched the result, and if the persons reproved rose up
against the reproof, and afterward opposed the truth, these queries
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would arise in my mind: Did I deliver the message just as I should?
Could there not have been some way to save them? And then such
distress pressed upon my soul that I often felt that death would be a
welcome messenger, and the grave a sweet resting place.
I did not realize the danger and sin of such a course, until in vision
I was taken into the presence of Jesus. He looked upon me with a
frown, and turned His face from me. It is not possible to describe the
terror and agony I then felt. I fell upon my face before Him, but had
no power to utter a word. Oh, how I longed to be covered and hid from
that dreadful frown! Then could I realize, in some degree, what the
feelings of the lost will be when they cry: “Mountains and rocks, fall
on us, and hide us from the face of Him that sitteth on the throne, and
from the wrath of the Lamb.”
Presently an angel bade me rise, and the sight that met my eyes
can hardly be described. Before me was a company whose hair and
garments were torn, and whose countenances were the very picture of
despair and horror. They came close to me, and rubbed their garments
upon mine. As I looked at my garments, I saw that they were stained
with blood. Again I fell like one dead at the feet of my accompanying
angel. I could not plead one excuse, and longed to be away from that
holy place. The angel raised me to my feet, and said: “This is not
your case now, but this scene has passed before you to let you know
what your situation must be if you neglect to declare to others what
the Lord has revealed to you. But if you are faithful to the end, you