Fortitude in Affliction
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in His own good time He will heal me. My faith takes hold of the
promise, “Ask, and ye shall receive” (
John 16:24
).
I believe that the Lord heard our prayers. I hoped that my captivity
might be turned immediately, and to my finite judgment it seemed that
thus God would be glorified. I was much blessed during our season
of prayer, and I shall hold fast to the assurance then given me: “I am
your Redeemer; I will heal you.”—
Manuscript 19, 1892
.
“I Shall Not Lose Self-control”
June 23, 1892—Another night has passed. I slept only three hours.
I was not in so much pain as usual, but was restless and nervous. After
lying awake for some time, trying to sleep, I gave up the effort, and
directed my whole attention to seeking the Lord. How precious to
me was the promise, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye
shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” (
Matthew 7:7
). I
prayed most earnestly to the Lord for comfort and peace, which the
Lord Jesus alone can give. I want the blessing of the Lord, so that,
while suffering pain, I shall not lose self-control. I dare not trust in
self for one moment.
The instant that Peter withdrew his eyes from Christ, that instant
he began to sink. When he realized his peril, and lifted his eyes and
voice to Jesus, crying, Save, Lord, or I perish, the hand ever ready to
save the perishing took hold of him, and he was saved....
In my home I must daily seek peace and pursue it.... And although
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the body is suffering, and the nervous system enfeebled, we must not
think that we are at liberty to speak fretfully or to think that we are
not receiving all the attention we should have. When we give way to
impatience, we drive the Spirit of God out of the heart, and give place
to the attributes of Satan.
When we frame excuses for selfishness, for evil thinking and evil
speaking, we are educating the soul in evil, and if we continue to do
this, it will become a habit to yield to temptation. We are then on
Satan’s ground, overcome, weak, and without courage.
If we trust in ourselves, we shall certainly fall. Christ says, “Abide
in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it
abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me” (
John 15:4
).