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Testimonies for the Church Volume 2
these things. She must put on confidence and decision; put on the
woman. Her nature is to shrink from anything untried. No one can
be more ready and willing than she to do, where she thinks she can
succeed. If she fails in her new effort, she must try, try again. She
can earn the respect of her husband and children.
I was shown that self-exaltation has caused Brother R to stumble.
He has exercised a certain dignity, savoring of severity, in his family
and toward his wife. This has shut her from him. She felt that she
could not approach him, and has been in her married life, more like
a child fearing a stern, dignified father, than like a wife. She has
loved, respected, and idolized her husband notwithstanding his lack
of encouraging her confidence. My brother, you should pursue a
course that would encourage your timid, shrinking wife to lean upon
your large affections, and this would give you a chance, in a delicate,
affectionate manner, to correct the errors existing in her, as far as
you are capable of so doing, and to inspire her with confidence in
herself.
I was shown that you had not possessed that love for your wife
that you should. Satan has taken advantage of her defects and your
errors, to work for the destruction of your family. You have suffered
shame of your wife to come into your heart, and your respect has
grown less and less for her whom you vowed to love and cherish
until death should part you.
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Danger of Confiding Family Troubles
October 25, 1868, your case was again presented before me.
I was shown that evil thoughts and unlawful desires have led to
improper acts and to a violation of the commandments of God. You
have dishonored yourself, your wife, and the cause of God. You
could have exerted an influence for good in the cause of God. But
the pursuance of a wrong course in matters that you thought were of
little consequence has led to greater evils.
Brother R, you are now in danger of making total shipwreck of
your faith. You have sinned greatly. But your sin in seeking to cover
up, and blind the eyes of those who have suspected you of wrong,
has been tenfold greater. All have not acted as prudently and with
as much love and care as the Lord would have been pleased to have