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True Love at Home
367
of passions; that these would be strengthened, but not pure, deep,
holy love.
Your wife should make strong efforts to come out of her retired,
dignified reserve, and cultivate simplicity in all her actions. And
when the higher order of faculties is aroused in you, and strengthened
by exercise, you will better understand the wants of women; you
will understand that the soul craves love of a higher, purer order than
exists in the low order of animal passions. These passions have been
strengthened in you by encouragement and exercise. If now in the
fear of God you keep your body under, and seek to meet your wife
with pure, elevated love, the wants of her nature will be met. Take
her to your heart; esteem her highly.
You have been exalted and have taken a position above your
wife. You have not understood yourself. You have had a high
appreciation of your religious experience and advancement in the
divine life. These things have hindered, instead of helping, your
wife. She feared for you, feared that you did not really understand
yourself, and that you would go too fast. Your union has not been
happy. You have been unsuited to each other. Your wife has a timid,
fearful, shrinking nature. You have utterly failed to understand her.
She hesitates and fears to move out because she is afraid of going
too fast. She needs confidence in herself and should encourage
independence.
Brother M, you fail to encourage the confidence of your wife.
You are lacking in courteousness and in constant, kindly regard
for her. You sometimes manifest love, but it is a selfish love. It
is not principle with you, reaching down deep and underlying all
your actions. It is not an unselfish love, which prompts a continual
forethought for her and a care to have her in your society, showing
her that you prefer her company above all others. You have sought
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for your own amusement, leaving her at home lonely and often
sad. You pursued this course before moving to this place and have
continued to do so since in a less degree for want of opportunity or
excuse.
Your wife would scorn to let you know that she marked the
deficiencies in you. She has a fear of you. Had you possessed
genuine love, which such a nature as hers requires, you would have
found an answering chord in her heart. You are too cold and stiff.