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Selfishness Rebuked
475
disposition to grasp everything whereby you may be advantaged, has
been a reproach to the truth and a stumbling block to unbelievers.
Your wife, as well as you, loves her ease. Your time has been
spent in bed when you were able to be up actively showing a special
interest in the family you were burdening. You have thought that,
because you were a minister, they should consider your presence
a favor, and should wait upon you, and favor you, while you had
nothing to do but to care for your own selfish interests. The im-
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pressions which you have given have been very bad. You both have
been considered representatives of ministers and their wives who are
engaged in presenting to the world the Sabbath and the soon coming
of our Lord.
Those who are acquainted with your course will say that your
profession, your teachings, and your life do not agree. They see
that your fruits are not good, and decide that you do not believe
the things you teach to others. They conclude that all ministers
are like yourself, and that sacred and eternal truths are, after all, a
deception. Who will be responsible for such impressions and such
deplorable results? May you see the heavy weight that rests upon
you in consequence of your selfishness, which is a curse to yourself
and to all around you.
Again, Brother A, you are troubled with feelings and impres-
sions which are the natural fruit of selfishness. You imagine that
others do not appreciate your labors. You think yourself capable of
accomplishing a large work, but excuse your failure to do it, because
others do not give you room and credit according to your ability.
You are jealous of others and have hindered the progress of the cause
in Illinois and Wisconsin, doing but little yourself, and hindering
those who would work if you were out of their way. Your sensitive-
ness and jealousy have weakened the hands of those who would set
things in order and bring up these conferences. If any improvement
is seen in these states, you incline to think that it is attributable in a
great measure to yourself, when it is a fact that if things were left
to your dictation, they would speedily go into the ground. In your
preaching you are generally too dry and formal. You do not weave
in the practical with the doctrinal. You talk too long and weary the
people. Instead of dwelling only upon that portion of your subject
that you can fully make plain to the understanding of all, you go