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Testimonies for the Church Volume 4
if they were exactly similar, there would be less harmony and natural
adaptability to each other than now. But we are all represented as
being members of the body, united in Christ. In this body there are
various members, and one member cannot perform exactly the same
office as another. The eyes are made for seeing, and in no case can
they perform the work of the ears, which is that of hearing; neither
can the ears take the place of the mouth, nor the mouth perform the
office of the nose. Yet all these organs are necessary to the perfect
whole and work in beautiful harmony with one another. The hands
have their office, and the feet theirs. One is not to say to the other,
“You are inferior to me;” the hands are not to say to the feet, “We
have no need of you;” but all are united to the body to do their specific
work and should be alike respected, as they conduce to the comfort
and usefulness of the perfect whole.
We cannot all have the same minds nor cherish the same ideas; but
one is to be a benefit and blessing to the other, that where one lacks,
another may supply what is requisite. You have certain deficiencies
of character and natural biases that render it profitable for you to
be brought in contact with a mind differently organized, in order to
properly balance your own. Instead of superintending so exclusively,
you should consult with your wife and arrive at joint decisions. You
do not encourage independent effort on the part of your family; but
if your specific directions are not scrupulously carried out, you too
frequently find fault with the delinquents.
Were your wife and other members of your family without tact or
skill, you would be more excusable in taking the reins so entirely into
your own hands; but this not being the case, your course is altogether
unwarrantable. After you have kindly informed them concerning your
views of cooking and the management of household matters, and
intimated what your desires are in this respect, go no further, but let
them use your suggestions as they choose. They will be much more
likely to be pleasantly influenced to please you than if you resorted
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to peremptory measures. And even if they do not adapt themselves
to your opinions, do not persist in ruling, in having everything done
in your own way. You must remember that the natural independence
of others should be respected. If your wife does her work in a way
convenient to herself, you have no right to interfere with her affairs