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Testimonies for the Church Volume 4
nor understood their active, developing minds; therefore you have
withheld from them simple indulgences that would have gratified them
without injury. It would have been a trifling tax upon you to give your
children greater attention, and it would have been of the greatest value
to them.
To live in the country would be very beneficial to them; an ac-
tive, out-of-door life would develop health of both mind and body.
They should have a garden to cultivate, where they might find both
amusement and useful employment. The training of plants and flowers
tends to the improvement of taste and judgment, while an acquaintance
with God’s useful and beautiful creations has a refining and ennobling
influence upon the mind, referring it to the Maker and Master of all.
The father of your children was harsh, relentless, and unfeeling,
cold and stern in his associations with them, severe in his discipline,
and unreasonable in his demands. He was a man of peculiar tempera-
ment, wrapped up in himself, thinking only of his own pleasure, and
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reaching out for means to gratify himself and secure the esteem of
others. His indolence and his dissipated habits, together with his lack
of sympathy and love for you and his children, weaned your affections
from him at an early day. Your life was filled with hard and peculiar
trials, while he was utterly indifferent to your cares and burdens.
These things have left their impress upon you and your children.
Especially have they tended to warp your character. You have almost
unconsciously developed an independent spirit. Finding that you could
not depend upon your husband, you have taken that course which
you thought best, without taking him into your confidence. As your
best endeavors were not appreciated, you mentally braced yourself to
move forward according to your best judgment, regardless of censure
or approval. Conscious of being wronged and misjudged by your
husband, you have cherished a feeling of bitterness against him, and
when censured you have retaliated upon those who questioned your
course.
But while you have fully realized your husband’s faults, you have
failed to mark your own. You have erred in talking of his failings to
others, thus cultivating a love for dwelling upon disagreeable topics,
and keeping your disappointments and trials constantly before you.
You have thus fallen into the habit of making the most of your sorrows