Selfishness in the Church and in the Family
235
You are very set and unyielding in your opinion, which makes it
very hard for your family. You need to have your heart softened by the
grace of God. You need such love in your heart as characterized the
works of Christ. Love proceeds from God. It is a plant of heavenly
growth, and it cannot live and flourish in the natural heart. Where it
exists, there is truth and life and power. But it cannot live without
action, and whenever it is exercised it increases and extends. It will
not observe little mistakes and be quick to mark little errors. It will
prevail when argument, when any amount of words, will prove vain
and useless. The very best way to reform the character and regulate
the conduct of your family is through the principle of love. It is indeed
a power and will accomplish that which neither money nor might ever
can.
My brother, your words that are harsh and unsympathizing cut
and wound. It is very easy for you to censure and find fault, but
this is only productive of unhappiness. You would quickly resent
the words you address to others, were they spoken to you. You have
looked upon it as a weakness to be kind, tender, and sympathetic, and
have thought it beneath your dignity to speak tenderly, gently, and
lovingly to your wife. Here you mistake in what true manliness and
dignity consist. The disposition to leave deeds of kindness undone is a
manifest weakness and defect in your character. That which you would
look upon as weakness, God regards as true Christian courtesy, that
should be exercised by every Christian; for this was the spirit which
Christ manifested.
You have a very selfish disposition and think more highly of your-
self than you ought to think. You frequently take extremely singular
and fanciful views of the Scriptures, and often cling to these as zeal-
ously as did the Jews to their traditions. Not possessing a teachable
spirit, you will be in constant danger of making trouble in the church
unless you set yourself at the work of correcting these wrongs in the
strength of the mighty Conqueror. That which makes your case alarm-
ing is that you think you know these things better than your brethren,
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and you are very difficult to be approached. You have a self-righteous,
pharisaical spirit, which would say: “Stand off, come not near me; for
I am holier than thou.”
You have not seen the corruptions of your own heart and that
you have made life almost a failure. Your opinions cannot and must