Dangers of the Young
127
They should make home pleasant and cheerful. Speak kindly to your
children. Fathers and mothers, remember how sensitive you are, how
little you can bear to be blamed. Reflect, and know that your children
are like you. That which you cannot bear, don’t lay upon your children.
If you cannot bear censure and blame, neither can your children who
are weaker than you, and cannot endure as much. Let your pleasant,
cheerful words ever be like sunbeams in your family. The fruits of
self-control, thoughtfulness, and pains-taking on your part, will be an
hundred-fold.
No father or mother has any right to sadden and bring a gloomy
cloud over their children’s happiness, by fault-finding, or severe cen-
sure for little mistakes and trifles. Actual wrong and sin should be
made to appear just as sinful as it is, and a decided, firm course should
be pursued to prevent the recurrence of similar sins and wrongs. Im-
press them with a sense of their wrongs. Don’t leave them in a hopeless
state of mind. Leave upon their minds a degree of courage that they
[144]
can improve and gain your confidence and approval.
Some parents mistake in giving their children too much liberty.
They sometimes have so much confidence in them that they do not
see their faults. It is wrong to allow children, at some expense, to
visit at a distance, unaccompanied by their parents or guardians. It
has a wrong influence upon the children. They feel that they are of
considerable consequence, and that certain privileges belong to them,
and if not granted them, they think themselves abused. They refer
to children who go and come, and have many privileges, while they
have so few. And the mother fears that the children will think her
unjust unless she gratifies their wishes, which in the end proves a great
injury to the children. Impressions are often received by the young
visitors, who have not a parent’s watchful eye over them to see and
correct their faults, which will take months to do away. I was referred
to cases where parents have had good, obedient children, and have had
the utmost confidence in certain families, and trusted their children to
go from them at a distance to visit them, which has caused an entire
change from that time in the deportment and character of their children.
Formerly they were contended and happy at home, and had no great
desire to be much in the company of other young people. When they
return to their parents, restraint seems unjust, and home is like a prison