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Testimonies for the Church Volume 5
as they are in my mind, and he is too firm in his ideas and feelings;
but I wanted to tell you that I have implicit faith in the Testimonies
and in your work, and have long been wishing for an opportunity to
tell you this, and I shall now feel free. Will you forgive me for my
feelings and words against you? I have grieved the Spirit of God and
sometimes have felt that He had forsaken me; but I do not now have
these feelings, neither have I had them for some time. I never realized
the danger of talking unbelief as I have for a few weeks past. I fear
greatly for my husband, for he expresses unbelief; and I fear he will
give up all and become an infidel. Oh, how I wish I could help him!”
Brother O, when you told me that your wife died disbelieving the
Testimonies, I did not contradict you; but I thought you did not tell
me the truth. I afterward decided that you were greatly in the dark,
for I have a letter which she sent me saying that she had the fullest
confidence in the Testimonies and knew them to be true in regard to
you and to herself. I attended the camp meeting in-----, and you were
present. You then had an experience that would have proved of lasting
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value to you if you had remained humble before God as at that time.
You then humbled your heart and upon your knees asked me to forgive
you for the things you had said about me and my work. You said:
“You have no idea how mean I have talked about you.” I assured you
I would just as freely forgive you as I hoped Jesus would forgive me
my sins and errors. You stated there in the presence of several that
you had said many things to my injury; all of which I assured you I
freely forgave you, for it was not against me. None of these things
were against me; I was only a servant bearing the message God gave
me. It was not I personally that you were arrayed against; it was the
message that God sent to you through the humble instrument. It was
Christ that you injured, not I. “I do not want you,” I said, “to confess
to me. Make all straight between your soul and God, and all will be
right between you and me.” Some expressions that were written to you,
you had taken in altogether too strong a light. And after reading them
carefully again, you said they did not appear to you as they had, and
everything was reconciled. You stated after this interview that you felt
you had never before known what conversion was, but that you had
been born again, converted for the first time. You could say you loved
your brethren, your heart was light and happy; you saw the sacredness