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The Acts of the Apostles
what further judgment might be in store for him, he sought out the
home of the disciple Judas, where, in solitude, he had ample opportu-
nity for reflection and prayer.
For three days Saul was “without sight, and neither did eat nor
drink.” These days of soul agony were to him as years. Again and
again he recalled, with anguish of spirit, the part he had taken in
the martyrdom of Stephen. With horror he thought of his guilt in
allowing himself to be controlled by the malice and prejudice of the
priests and rulers, even when the face of Stephen had been lighted up
with the radiance of heaven. In sadness and brokenness of spirit he
recounted the many times he had closed his eyes and ears against the
most striking evidences and had relentlessly urged on the persecution
of the believers in Jesus of Nazareth.
These days of close self-examination and of heart humiliation were
spent in lonely seclusion. The believers, having been given warning of
the purpose of Saul in coming to Damascus, feared that he might be
acting a part, in order the more readily to deceive them; and they held
themselves aloof, refusing him their sympathy. He had no desire to
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appeal to the unconverted Jews, with whom he had planned to unite
in persecuting the believers; for he knew that they would not even
listen to his story. Thus he seemed to be shut away from all human
sympathy. His only hope of help was in a merciful God, and to Him
he appealed in brokenness of heart.
During the long hours when Saul was shut in with God alone,
he recalled many of the passages of Scripture referring to the first
advent of Christ. Carefully he traced down the prophecies, with a
memory sharpened by the conviction that had taken possession of
his mind. As he reflected on the meaning of these prophecies he
was astonished at his former blindness of understanding and at the
blindness of the Jews in general, which had led to the rejection of Jesus
as the promised Messiah. To his enlightened vision all now seemed
plain. He knew that his former prejudice and unbelief had clouded his
spiritual perception and had prevented him from discerning in Jesus of
Nazareth the Messiah of prophecy.
As Saul yielded himself fully to the convicting power of the Holy
Spirit, he saw the mistakes of his life and recognized the far-reaching
claims of the law of God. He who had been a proud Pharisee, confident
that he was justified by his good works, now bowed before God with