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Chapter 13—Relationships
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A Young Adult’s Encounter with Ellen White ... on
Relationships
I was involved in a relationship that was not right. Some things
are “gray issues,” but there are times we really do know that some-
thing is wrong. I had the “definitely wrong” conviction about my
recent relationship with my boyfriend. Yes, he was a Christian, and
I even had some friends who told me we were good for each other.
But deep down I knew that this was not where God was leading me.
There were other clues, too, such as the fact that the people
closest to me—my family and longtime friends—didn’t approve.
They were impressed (as I was but didn’t admit to them) that it was
not God’s plan for me to be in this relationship. Foolishly, I listened
to those who told me what I wanted to hear because this was what I
wanted. I didn’t leave God. I kept praying and tricking myself into
thinking this was His will, even though I knew it wasn’t, because I
thought this was “true love.”
During this same time I was taking a marriage and family psy-
chology class at one of our Seventh-day Adventist universities. Two
of the books the professor used were
The Adventist Home
and
Mes-
sages to Young People
. This was my first time reading these books
all the way through. With each page I turned, I was convicted of the
truth that I already knew. I was forced to look beyond our dating
relationship and all the mushy romantic stuff that I loved to what
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really mattered. Was this relationship to God’s glory? No. I could
answer that quite easily.
I’ll be honest. I never intended it to go the way it did. You
know how easy it is once you’re “in love” with someone to let your
physical relationship go farther than you want it to go.
I swore I would never do that. Even if you don’t have sex, you
very easily can go beyond what is pure and holy when you are
together. Ellen White knew this. That’s why, as I read her messages,
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