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Counsels for the Church
Qualities to Be Sought in a Prospective Husband
Before giving her hand in marriage, every woman should inquire
whether he with whom she is about to unite her destiny is worthy.
What has been his past record? Is his life pure? Is the love which
he expresses of a noble, elevated character, or is it a mere emotional
fondness? Has he the traits of character that will make her happy?
Can she find true peace and joy in his affection? Will she be allowed
to preserve her individuality, or must her judgment and conscience
be surrendered to the control of her husband? ... Can she honor
the Saviour’s claims as supreme? Will body and soul, thoughts and
purposes, be preserved pure and holy? These questions have a vital
bearing upon the well-being of every woman who enters the marriage
relation.
Let the woman who desires a peaceful, happy union, who would
escape future misery and sorrow, inquire before she yields her affec-
tions, Has my lover a mother? What is the stamp of her character?
Does he recognize his obligations to her? Is he mindful of her wishes
and happiness? If he does not respect the honor his mother, will he
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manifest respect and love, kindness and attention, toward his wife?
When the novelty of marriage is over, will he love me still? Will he
be patient with my mistakes, or will he be critical, overbearing, and
dictatorial? True affection will overlook many mistakes; love will not
discern them.
Let a young woman accept as a life companion only one who
possesses pure, manly traits of character, one who is diligent, aspiring,
and honest, one who loves and fears God.
Shun those who are irreverent. Shun one who is a lover of idleness;
shun the one who is a scoffer of hallowed things. Avoid the society
of one who uses profane language, or is addicted to the use of even
one glass of liquor. Listen not to the proposals of a man who has no
realization of his responsibility to God. The pure truth which sanctifies
the soul will give you courage to cut yourself loose from the most
pleasing acquaintance whom you know does not love and fear God,
and knows nothing of the principles of true righteousness. We may
always bear with a friend’s infirmities and with his ignorance, but
never with his vices.