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Counsels for the Church
Better to Break an Unwise Engagement
It is only in Christ that a marriage alliance can be safely formed.
Human love should draw its closest bonds from divine love. Only
where Christ reigns can there be deep, true, unselfish affection.
Even if an engagement has been entered into without a full under-
standing of the character of the one with whom you intend to unite, do
not think that the engagement makes it a positive necessity for you to
take upon yourself the marriage vow and link yourself for life to one
whom you cannot love and respect. Be very careful how you enter into
conditional engagements; but better, far better, break the engagement
before marriage than separate afterward, as many do.
You may say, “But I have given my promise, and shall I now retract
it?” I answer, If you have made a promise contrary to the Scriptures,
by all means retract it without delay, and in humility before God repent
of the infatuation that led you to make so rash a pledge. Far better
take back such a promise, in the fear of God, than keep it, and thereby
dishonor your Maker.
Let every step toward a marriage alliance be characterized by
modesty, simplicity, sincerity, and an earnest purpose to please and
honor God. Marriage affects the afterlife both in this world and in
the world to come. A sincere Christian will make no plans that God
cannot approve.
The heart yearns for human love, but this love is not strong enough,
or pure enough, or precious enough to supply the place of the love
of Jesus. Only in her Saviour can the wife find wisdom, strength,
and grace to meet the cares, responsibilities, and sorrows of life. She
should make Him her strength and her guide. Let woman give herself
to Christ before giving herself to any earthly friend, and enter into
no relation which shall conflict with this. Those who would find true
happiness must have the blessing of Heaven upon all that they possess
and all that they do. It is disobedience to God that fills so many hearts
and homes with misery. My sister, unless you would have a home
where the shadows are never lifted, do not unite yourself with one who
is an enemy of God.