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Counsels for the Church
When Unreasonable Demands Are Made
The matter now to be settled is: Shall the wife feel bound to yield
implicitly to the demands of her husband when she sees that nothing
but base passions control him, and when her reason and judgment are
convinced that she does it to the injury of her body, which God has
enjoined upon her to possess in sanctification and honor, to preserve
as a living sacrifice to God?
It is not pure, holy love which leads the wife to gratify the animal
propensities of her husband at the expense of health and life. If she
possesses true love and wisdom, she will seek to divert his mind from
the gratification of lustful passions to high and spiritual themes by
dwelling upon interesting spiritual subjects. It may be necessary to
humbly and affectionately urge, even at the risk of his displeasure, that
she cannot debase her body by yielding to sexual excess. She should,
in a tender, kind manner, remind him that God has the first and highest
claim upon her entire being, and that she cannot disregard this claim,
for she will be held accountable in the great day of God.
If she will elevate her affections, and in sanctification and honor
preserve her refined, womanly dignity, woman can do much by her
judicious influence to sanctify her husband, and thus fulfill her high
mission. In so doing she can save both her husband and herself, thus
performing a double work. In this matter, so delicate and so difficult
to manage, much wisdom and patience are necessary, as well as moral
courage and fortitude. Strength and grace can be found in prayer.
Sincere love is to be the ruling principle of the heart. Love to God and
love to the husband can alone be the right ground of action.
When the wife yields her body and mind to the control of her hus-
band, being passive to his will in all things, sacrificing her conscience,
her dignity, and even her identity, she loses the opportunity of exerting
that mighty influence for good which she should possess to elevate
her husband. She could soften his stern nature, and her sanctifying
influence could be exerted in a manner to refine and purify, leading
him to strive earnestly to govern his passions and be more spiritually
minded, that they might be partakers together of the divine nature, hav-
ing escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. The power
of influence can be great to lead the mind to high and noble themes,
above the low, sensual indulgences for which the heart unrenewed