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Christian Experience and Teachings of Ellen G. White
I now began to see my way more clearly, and the darkness began to
pass away. I earnestly sought the pardon of my sins, and strove to give
myself entirely to the Lord. But my mind was often in great distress,
because I did not experience the spiritual ecstasy that I considered
would be the evidence of my acceptance with God, and I dared not
believe myself converted without it. How much I needed instruction
concerning the simplicity of faith!
The Burden Lifted
While bowed at the altar with others who were seeking the Lord,
all the language of my heart was: “Help, Jesus; save me, or I perish!
I will never cease to entreat till my prayer is heard and my sins are
forgiven.” I felt my needy, helpless condition as never before.
As I knelt and prayed, suddenly my burden left me, and my heart
was light. At first a feeling of alarm came over me, and I tried to
resume my load of distress. It seemed to me that I had no right to feel
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joyous and happy. But Jesus seemed very near to me; I felt able to
come to Him with all my griefs, misfortunes, and trials, even as the
needy ones came to Him for relief when He was upon earth. There
was a surety in my heart that He understood my peculiar trials, and
sympathized with me. I can never forget this precious assurance of
the pitying tenderness of Jesus toward one so unworthy of His notice.
I learned more of the divine character of Christ in that short period,
when bowed among the praying ones, than ever before.
One of the mothers in Israel came to me and said, “Dear child, have
you found Jesus?” I was about to answer, “Yes,” when she exclaimed,
“Indeed you have; His peace is with you, I see it in your face!”
Again and again I said to myself: “Can this be religion? Am I
not mistaken?” It seemed too much for me to claim, too exalted a
privilege. Though too timid to confess it openly, I felt that the Saviour
had blessed me and pardoned my sins.
“In Newness Of Life”
Soon after this the camp meeting closed, and we started for home.
My mind was full of the sermons, exhortations, and prayers we had
heard. Everything in nature seemed changed. During the meeting,