Beginning of Public Labours
17
Even after I had entered the building, a fear came over me, and a
sense of shame that I must humble myself before these people; but I
seemed compelled to move forward, and was slowly making my way
around the pillar in order to face the lamb, when a trumpet sounded,
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the temple shook, shouts of triumph arose from the assembled saints,
an awful brightness illuminated the building, then all was intense
darkness. The happy people had all disappeared with the brightness,
and I was left alone in the silent horror of night.
I awoke in agony of mind, and could hardly convince myself that I
had been dreaming. It seemed to me that my doom was fixed; that the
Spirit of the Lord had left me, never to return.
Dream Of Seeing Jesus
Soon after this I had another dream. I seemed to be sitting in abject
despair, with my face in my hands, reflecting like this: If Jesus were
upon earth, I would go to Him, throw myself at His feet, and tell Him
all my sufferings. He would not turn away from me; He would have
mercy upon me, and I would love and serve Him always.
Just then the door opened, and a person of beautiful form and
countenance entered. He looked upon me pitifully, and said: “Do you
wish to see Jesus? He is here, and you can see Him if you desire it.
Take everything you possess, and follow me.”
I heard this with unspeakable joy, and gladly gathered up all my
little possessions, every treasured trinket, and followed my guide. He
led me to a steep and apparently frail stairway. As I began to ascend
the steps, he cautioned me to keep my eyes fixed upward, lest I should
grow dizzy and fall. Many others who were climbing the steep ascent
fell before gaining the top.
Finally we reached the last step, and stood before a door. Here my
guide directed me to leave all the things that I had brought with me.
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I cheerfully laid them down. He then opened the door, and bade me
enter. In a moment I stood before Jesus. There was no mistaking that
beautiful countenance; that expression of benevolence and majesty
could belong to no other. As His gaze rested upon me, I knew at once
that He was acquainted with every circumstance of my life and all my
inner thoughts and feelings.