Chapter 19—Struggles with Poverty
At Gorham, Maine, August 26, 1847, our eldest son, Henry Nichols
White, was born. In October Brother and Sister Howland, of Topsham,
kindly offered us a part of their dwelling, which we gladly accepted,
and commenced housekeeping with borrowed furniture. We were
poor, and saw close times. We had resolved not to be dependent, but
to support ourselves, and have something with which to help others.
But we were not prospered. My husband worked very hard hauling
stone on the railroad, but could not get what was due him for his
labor. Brother and Sister Howland freely divided with us whenever
they could; but they also were in close circumstances. They fully
believed the first and second messages, and had generously imparted
of their substance to forward the work, until they were dependent on
their daily labor.
My husband stopped hauling stone, and with his ax went into
the woods to chop cordwood. With a continual pain in his side, he
worked from early morning till dark to earn about fifty cents a day. We
endeavored to keep up good courage, and trust in the Lord. I did not
murmur. In the morning I felt grateful to God that He had preserved
us through another night, and at night I was thankful that He had kept
us through another day.
One day when our provisions were gone, my husband went to his
employer to get money or provisions. It was a stormy day, and he
walked three miles and back in the rain. He brought home on his
back a bag of provisions tied in different compartments, having in this
manner passed through the village of Brunswick, where he had often
lectured. As he entered the house, very weary, my heart sank within
me. My first feelings were that God had forsaken us. I said to my
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husband: “Have we come to this? Has the Lord left us?” I could not
restrain my tears, and wept aloud for hours, until I fainted. Prayer was
offered in my behalf. Soon I felt the cheering influence of the Spirit of
God, and regretted that I had sunk under discouragement. We desire
to follow Christ and to be like Him; but we sometimes faint beneath
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