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30
Early Writings
had two dreams which gave me a faint ray of light and hope. [
The
dreams here referred to will be found on pages 78-81.
] After that
I opened my mind to my devoted mother. She told me that I was
not lost and advised me to go and see brother stockman, who then
preached to the advent people in portland. I had great confidence in
him, for he was a devoted and beloved servant of Christ. His words
affected me and led me to hope. I returned home and again went
before the lord, and promised that I would do and suffer anything
if I could have the smiles of Jesus. The same duty was presented.
There was to be a prayer meeting that evening, which I attended,
and when others knelt to pray, I bowed with them trembling, and
after two or three had prayed, I opened my mouth in prayer before I
was aware of it, and the promises of God looked to me like so many
precious pearls that were to be received by only asking for them. As
I prayed, the burden and agony of soul that I had so long felt left me,
and the blessing of God came upon me like the gentle dew. I gave
glory to God for what I felt, but I longed for more. I could not be
satisfied till I was filled with the fullness of God. Inexpressible love
for Jesus filled my soul. Wave after wave of glory rolled over me,
until my body grew stiff. Everything was shut out from me but Jesus
and glory, and I knew nothing of what was passing around me.
I remained in this state of body and mind a long time, and when
I realized what was around me, everything seemed changed. Ev-
erything looked glorious and new, as if smiling and praising God. I
was then willing to confess Jesus everywhere. For six months not a
[13]
cloud of darkness passed over my mind. My soul was daily drinking
rich draughts of salvation. I thought that those who loved Jesus
would love His coming, so went to the class meeting and told them
what Jesus had done for me and what a fullness I enjoyed through
believing that the Lord was coming. The class leader interrupted
me, saying, “Through Methodism”; but I could not give the glory
to Methodism when it was Christ and the hope of His soon coming
that had made me free.
Most of my father’s family were full believers in the advent, and
for bearing testimony to this glorious doctrine seven of us were at
one time cast out of the Methodist Church. At this time the words
of the prophet were exceedingly precious to us: “Your brethren
that hated you, that cast you out for My name’s sake, said, Let the