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Early Writings
trumpet sounded, the temple shook, shouts of triumph arose from
the assembled saints, an awful brightness illuminated the building,
then all was intense darkness. The happy people had all disappeared
with the brightness, and I was left alone in the silent horror of night.
I awoke in agony of mind and could hardly convince myself that
I had been dreaming. It seemed to me that my doom was fixed, that
the Spirit of the Lord had left me, never to return. My despondency
deepened, if that were possible.
Soon after this I had another dream. I seemed to be sitting in
abject despair, with my face in my hands, reflecting like this: If
Jesus were upon earth, I would go to Him, throw myself at His feet,
and tell Him all my sufferings. He would not turn away from me,
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He would have mercy upon me, and I should love and serve Him
always. Just then the door opened, and a person of beautiful form
and countenance entered. He looked upon me pityingly and said:
“Do you wish to see Jesus? He is here and you can see Him if you
desire to do so. Take everything you possess and follow me.”
I heard this with unspeakable joy, and gladly gathered up all my
little possessions, every treasured trinket, and followed my guide.
He led me to a steep and apparently frail stairway. As I commenced
to ascend the steps, he cautioned me to keep my eyes fixed upward,
lest I should grow dizzy and fall. Many others who were climbing
up the steep ascent fell before gaining the top.
Finally we reached the last step and stood before the door. Here
my guide directed me to leave all the things that I had brought with
me. I cheerfully laid them down; he then opened the door and bade
me enter. In a moment I stood before Jesus. There was no mistaking
that beautiful countenance. Such a radiant expression of benevolence
and majesty could belong to no other. As His gaze rested upon me,
I knew at once that He was acquainted with every circumstance of
my life and all my inner thoughts and feelings.
I tried to shield myself from His gaze, feeling unable to endure
His searching eyes, but He drew near with a smile, and, laying His
hand upon my head, said: “Fear not.” The sound of His sweet voice
thrilled my heart with a happiness it had never before experienced.
I was too joyful to utter a word, but, overcome with ineffable hap-
piness, sank prostrate at His feet. While I was lying helpless there,
scenes of beauty and glory passed before me, and I seemed to have