Experience and Views
By the request of dear friends I have consented to give a brief
sketch of my experience and views, with the hope that it will cheer
and strengthen the humble, trusting children of the Lord.
At the age of eleven years I was converted, and when twelve years
old was baptized, and joined the Methodist Church. At the age of
thirteen I heard Bro. Miller deliver his second course of lectures in
Portland, Me. I then felt that I was not holy, not ready to see Jesus.
And when the invitation was given for church members and sinners
to come forward for prayers, I embraced the first opportunity, for I
knew that I must have a great work done for me to fit me for Heaven.
My soul was thirsting for full and free salvation, but knew not how to
obtain it.
In 1842 I constantly attended the Second Advent meetings in Port-
land, Me., and fully believed the Lord was coming. I was hungering
and thirsting for full salvation, and an entire conformity to the will of
God. Day and night I was struggling to obtain this priceless treasure,
that all the riches of earth could not purchase. As I was bowed be-
fore God praying for this blessing the duty to go and pray in a public
prayer-meeting was presented before me. I had never prayed vocally in
meeting, and drew back from the duty, fearing that if I should attempt
to pray I should be confounded. Every time I went before the Lord
in secret prayer this unfulfilled duty presented itself, until I ceased
to pray, and settled down in a melancholy state, and finally in deep
despair.
In this state of mind I remained for three weeks, with not one ray
of light to pierce the thick clouds of darkness around me. I then had
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two dreams which gave me a faint ray of light and hope. After that I
opened my mind to my devoted mother. She told me that I was not
lost, and advised me to go and see Bro. Stockman, who then preached
to the Advent people in Portland. I had great confidence in him, for
he was a devoted and beloved servant of Christ. His words affected
me and led me to hope. I returned home, and again went before the
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