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Builders of the Home
245
Under such guidance let a young woman accept as a life com-
panion only one who possesses pure, manly traits of character, one
who is diligent, aspiring, and honest, one who loves and fears God.
Let a young man seek one to stand by his side who is fitted to bear
her share of life’s burdens, one whose influence will ennoble and
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refine him, and who will make him happy in her love.
“A prudent wife is from the Lord.” “The heart of her husband
safely trusts her. ... She does him good and not evil all the days of
her life.” “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is
the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household,
and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call
her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her,” saying, “‘Many
daughters have done well, but you excel them all.’” “He who finds
[such] a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.”
Proverbs 19:14
;
31:11, 12, 26-29
;
18:22
.
However carefully and wisely marriage may have been entered
into, few couples are completely united when the marriage ceremony
is performed. The real union of the two in wedlock is the work of
the years that follow.
As life with its burden of perplexity and care meets the newly
wedded pair, the romance with which imagination so often invests
marriage disappears. Husband and wife learn each other’s character
as it was impossible to learn it in their previous association. This
is a most critical period in their experience. Their happiness and
usefulness in future years depend upon their taking a right course
now. Often they discern in each other unsuspected weaknesses
and defects, but the hearts that love has united will also discern
excellencies unseen before. Let all seek to discover the excellencies
rather than the defects.
Often it is our own attitude, the atmosphere that surrounds our-
selves, that determines what will be revealed to us in another. There
are many who regard the expression of love as a weakness, and they
maintain a reserve that repels others. This spirit checks the current
of sympathy. As the social and generous impulses are repressed,
they wither, and the heart becomes desolate and cold. We should
beware of this error. Love cannot long exist without expression.
Let not the heart of one connected with you starve for the want of
kindness and sympathy.