388
      
      
         Messages to Young People
      
      
        never to bestow a thought upon their parents’ wishes or preferences,
      
      
        nor to regard their matured judgment. Selfishness has closed the door
      
      
        of their hearts to filial affection. The minds of the young need to be
      
      
        aroused in regard to this matter. The fifth commandment is the only
      
      
        commandment to which is annexed a promise; but it is held lightly, and
      
      
        is even positively ignored by the lover’s claim. Slighting a mother’s
      
      
         [449]
      
      
        love, dishonoring a father’s care, are sins that stand registered against
      
      
        many youth.
      
      
        One of the greatest errors connected with this subject is that the
      
      
        young and inexperienced must not have their affections disturbed, that
      
      
        there must be no interference in their love experience. If there ever
      
      
        was a subject that needed to be viewed from every standpoint, it is this.
      
      
        The aid of the experience of others, and a calm, careful weighing of
      
      
        the matter on both sides, is positively essential. It is a subject that is
      
      
        treated altogether too lightly by the great majority of people.
      
      
        Take God and your God-fearing parents into your counsel, young
      
      
        friends. Pray over the matter. Weigh every sentiment, and watch every
      
      
        development of character in the one with whom you think to link your
      
      
        life destiny. The step you are about to take is one of the most important
      
      
        in your life, and should not be taken hastily. While you may love, do
      
      
        not love blindly.
      
      
        Examine carefully to see if your married life would be happy, or
      
      
        inharmonious and wretched. Let the questions be raised, Will this
      
      
        union help me heavenward? will it increase my love for God? and
      
      
        will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life? If these reflections
      
      
        present no drawback, then in the fear of God move forward.
      
      
        But even if an engagement has been entered into without a full
      
      
        understanding of the character of the one with whom you intend to
      
      
        unite, do not think that the engagement makes it a positive necessity
      
      
        for you to take upon yourself the marriage vow, and link yourself for
      
      
         [450]
      
      
        life to one whom you cannot love and respect. Be very careful how
      
      
        you enter into conditional engagements; but better, far better, break
      
      
        the engagement before marriage than separate afterward, as many do.
      
      
        Treatment of Mother an Index
      
      
        True love is a plant that needs culture. Let the woman who desires
      
      
        a peaceful, happy union, who would escape future misery and sorrow,