56
Life Sketches of Ellen G. White
comfort to my desponding heart; the path before me seemed hedged
in with difficulties that I was unable to overcome.
I coveted death as a release from the responsibilities that were
crowding upon me. At length the sweet peace I had so long enjoyed
left me, and despair again pressed upon my soul.
Encouragement from the Brethren
The company of believers in Portland were ignorant concerning
the exercises of my mind that had brought me into this state of de-
spondency; but they knew that for some reason my mind had become
depressed, and they felt that this was sinful on my part, considering
the gracious manner in which the Lord had manifested Himself to me.
Meetings were held at my father’s house, but my distress of mind was
so great that I did not attend them for some time. My burden grew
heavier until the agony of my spirit seemed more than I could bear.
At length I was induced to be present at one of the meetings in
my own home. The church made my case a special subject of prayer.
Father Pearson, who in my earlier experience had opposed the man-
ifestations of the power of God upon me, now prayed earnestly for
[71]
me, and counseled me to surrender my will to the will of the Lord.
Like a tender father he tried to encourage and comfort me, bidding me
believe I was not forsaken by the Friend of sinners.
I felt too weak and despondent to make any special effort for
myself, but my heart united with the petitions of my friends. I cared
little now for the opposition of the world, and felt willing to make
every sacrifice if only the favor of God might be restored to me.
While prayer was offered for me, that the Lord would give me
strength and courage to bear the message, the thick darkness that
had encompassed me rolled back, and a sudden light came upon me.
Something that seemed to me like a ball of fire struck me right over
the heart. My strength was taken away, and I fell to the floor. I seemed
to be in the presence of the angels. One of these holy beings again
repeated the words, “Make known to others what I have revealed to
you.”
Father Pearson, who could not kneel on account of his rheumatism,
witnessed this occurrence. When I revived sufficiently to see and hear,
he rose from his chair, and said: “I have seen a sight such as I never