Seite 392 - Messages to Young People (1930)

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388
Messages to Young People
never to bestow a thought upon their parents’ wishes or preferences,
nor to regard their matured judgment. Selfishness has closed the door
of their hearts to filial affection. The minds of the young need to be
aroused in regard to this matter. The fifth commandment is the only
commandment to which is annexed a promise; but it is held lightly, and
is even positively ignored by the lover’s claim. Slighting a mother’s
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love, dishonoring a father’s care, are sins that stand registered against
many youth.
One of the greatest errors connected with this subject is that the
young and inexperienced must not have their affections disturbed, that
there must be no interference in their love experience. If there ever
was a subject that needed to be viewed from every standpoint, it is this.
The aid of the experience of others, and a calm, careful weighing of
the matter on both sides, is positively essential. It is a subject that is
treated altogether too lightly by the great majority of people.
Take God and your God-fearing parents into your counsel, young
friends. Pray over the matter. Weigh every sentiment, and watch every
development of character in the one with whom you think to link your
life destiny. The step you are about to take is one of the most important
in your life, and should not be taken hastily. While you may love, do
not love blindly.
Examine carefully to see if your married life would be happy, or
inharmonious and wretched. Let the questions be raised, Will this
union help me heavenward? will it increase my love for God? and
will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life? If these reflections
present no drawback, then in the fear of God move forward.
But even if an engagement has been entered into without a full
understanding of the character of the one with whom you intend to
unite, do not think that the engagement makes it a positive necessity
for you to take upon yourself the marriage vow, and link yourself for
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life to one whom you cannot love and respect. Be very careful how
you enter into conditional engagements; but better, far better, break
the engagement before marriage than separate afterward, as many do.
Treatment of Mother an Index
True love is a plant that needs culture. Let the woman who desires
a peaceful, happy union, who would escape future misery and sorrow,