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Mind, Character, and Personality Volume 1
in their previous association. This is a most critical period in their
experience. The happiness and usefulness of their whole future life
depend upon their taking a right course now. Often they discern in
each other unsuspected weaknesses and defects, but the hearts that
love has united will discern excellencies also heretofore unknown. Let
all seek to discover the excellencies rather than the defects. Often it
is our own attitude, the atmosphere that surrounds ourselves, which
determines what will be revealed to us in another.
There are many who regard the expression of love as a weakness,
and they maintain a reserve that repels others. This spirit checks
the current of sympathy. As the social and generous impulses are
repressed, they wither, and the heart becomes desolate and cold. We
should beware of this error. Love cannot long exist without expression.
Let not the heart of one connected with you starve for the want of
kindness and sympathy.—
The Ministry of Healing, 360
(1905).
[154]
Love Stimulates to Nobler Aims—Let each give love rather than
exact it. Cultivate that which is noblest in yourselves, and be quick
to recognize the good qualities in each other. The consciousness of
being appreciated is a wonderful stimulus and satisfaction. Sympathy
and respect encourage the striving after excellence, and love itself
increases as it stimulates to nobler aims.—
The Ministry of Healing,
361
(1905).
Individuality Not to Be Merged—Neither the husband nor the
wife should merge his or her individuality in that of the other. Each
has a personal relation to God. Of Him each is to ask, “What is right?”
“What is wrong?” “How may I best fulfill life’s purpose?” Let the
wealth of your affection flow forth to Him who gave His life for you.
Make Christ first and last and best in everything. As your love for Him
becomes deeper and stronger your love for each other will be purified
and strengthened.—
The Ministry of Healing, 361
(1905).
We have an individuality of our own, and the wife’s individuality
is never to be sunk into that of her husband. God is our Creator. We
are His by creation, and we are His by redemption. We want to see
how much we can render back to God, because He gives us the moral
power, He gives us the efficiency, He gives us the intellect; and He
wants us to make the most of these precious gifts to His name’s glory.—
Manuscript 12, 1895.