My Conversion
21
I felt my needy, helpless condition as never before. As I knelt and
prayed, suddenly my burden left me, and my heart was light. At first
a feeling of alarm came over me, and I tried to resume my load of
distress. It seemed to me that I had no right to feel joyous and happy.
But Jesus seemed very near to me; I felt able to come to Him with all
my griefs, misfortunes, and trials, even as the needy ones came to Him
for relief when He was upon earth. There was a surety in my heart
that He understood my peculiar trials and sympathized with me. I can
never forget this precious assurance of the pitying tenderness of Jesus
toward one so unworthy of His notice. I learned more of the divine
character of Christ in that short period when bowed among the praying
ones than ever before.
[18]
One of the mothers in Israel came to me and said: “Dear child, have
you found Jesus?” I was about to answer, “Yes,” when she exclaimed:
“Indeed you have, His peace is with you, I see it in your face!” Again
and again I said to myself: “Can this be religion? Am I not mistaken?”
It seemed too much for me to claim, too exalted a privilege. Though
too timid to openly confess it, I felt that the Saviour had blessed me
and pardoned my sins.
Soon after this the meeting closed, and we started for home. My
mind was full of the sermons, exhortations, and prayers we had heard.
Everything in nature seemed changed. During the meeting, clouds and
rain prevailed a greater part of the time, and my feelings had been in
harmony with the weather. Now the sun shone bright and clear, and
flooded the earth with light and warmth. The trees and grass were
a fresher green, the sky a deeper blue. The earth seemed to smile
under the peace of God. So the rays of the Sun of Righteousness
had penetrated the clouds and darkness of my mind, and dispelled its
gloom.
It seemed to me that everyone must be at peace with God and
animated by His Spirit. Everything that my eyes rested upon seemed
to have undergone a change. The trees were more beautiful and the
birds sang more sweetly than ever before; they seemed to be praising
the Creator in their songs. I did not care to talk, for fear this happiness
might pass away, and I should lose the precious evidence of Jesus’
love for me.
As we neared our home in Portland, we passed men at work upon
the street. They were conversing with one another upon ordinary