Cutting and Slashing
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had accepted his humiliation, and the afflicting of his soul before
Him, and his confessions of his lack of consecration to God, and
his repentance for the errors and mistakes in his course which have
caused him such sorrow and despondency of mind during his protracted
illness.
I was shown that his greatest wrong in the past has been an un-
forgiving spirit toward those brethren who have injured his influence
in the cause of God and brought upon him extreme suffering of mind
by their wrong course. He was not as pitiful and compassionate as
our heavenly Father has been toward His erring, sinning, repenting
children. When those who have caused him the greatest suffering
acknowledged their wrongs heartily and fully, he could and did forgive
them, and fellowship them as brethren. But although the wrong was
healed in the sight of God, yet he sometimes in his own mind probed
that wound, and by referring to the past he suffered it to fester and
make him unhappy. The fact that he had in his past course suffered
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so much which in his opinion might have been avoided, led him to
indulge a murmuring spirit against his brethren and against the Lord.
In this way he lived over the past and revived trials which should have
passed into oblivion instead of embittering his life with unprofitable
remembrances. He has not always realized the pity and love that
should be exercised toward those who have been so unfortunate as
to fall under the temptations of Satan. They were the real sufferers,
the losers, not he, as long as he was steadfast, possessing the spirit of
Christ. When these souls began to see their errors, they had a hard
battle to work their way to the light by humble confessions. They had
Satan to contend with, and their own proud spirit to overcome, and
they needed help from those who were in the light to bring them from
their blind, discouraging condition, where they could begin to hope
and obtain strength to bruise Satan under their feet.
I saw that my husband had been too exacting toward those who
were wrong and had injured him. He indulged dissatisfied feelings,
which could be of no benefit to the erring and could but make his
own heart very unhappy, unfitting it for the peace of God to dwell
there, which would lead him in everything to give thanks. The Lord
permitted his mind to be desponding in regard to his own errors and
mistakes, and to nearly despair of forgiveness, not because his sins
were of such magnitude, but that he might know by experience how