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Importance of Self-Government
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for. Your heart should be filled with gratitude to your loving Saviour
for His mercy to you, to you who have so long abused His love.
I was shown that you were a rough stone from the quarry, which
needed much hewing, squaring, and polishing before it could fill a
place in the heavenly building. Some of this work has been done
for you; but, oh, there is a much greater work yet to be done! You
have had a very unhappy spirit. You have seen the rough side of
life. You have not had much happiness; but you were the one who
stood in your own light, debarring yourself from good. In your youth
you encouraged a spirit of discontent; you would not be ruled; you
chose to walk in your own way, irrespective of others’ judgment or
counsel. You would not submit to be controlled by your stepfather,
because you wanted to follow your own way. He did not understand
the best way to manage you, and you were determined not to respect
his authority. As soon as he would speak to you, you would place
yourself upon the defensive. Your combativeness was large, and
you would battle everything and everybody that crossed your plans.
Even when suggestions were made of a better course to pursue in
your plans and labors, you would fly in an instant. You thought
you were censured, thought you were blamed, and felt grieved with
those who were your true friends. Your imagination was diseased.
You thought that everybody was against you and that your lot was
exceedingly hard. It has been hard, but you have made it so.
Your course toward your stepfather was unbecoming. He did
not deserve to be treated by you as he was. He had faults and had
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committed errors, but while you were awake to see these in an
aggravated light you did not see your own errors. In the providence
of God your wife was prostrated by disease. She was a proud-
spirited woman; but she repented of her sins, and her repentance was
accepted of God.
Your way has been hedged up, on the right hand and on the
left, to hinder your progress to perdition. The Lord has brought
your unruly, untamable spirit to submit to Him. By a mixture of
judgment and mercy you have been brought to repentance. Like
Jonah, you fled from present duty to sea. God hedged up your way
by the visitations of His providence. You could not prosper or be
happy, because you could not leave yourself behind. You took self
and sin with you. You cherished a discontented, restless spirit and