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Testimonies for the Church Volume 2
would not do the duties in your path. You wanted a change, some
larger work. You became roving in disposition.
The eye of the dear Saviour has been upon you, or you would
have been left in your unsettled state, and in your sins, to become
abandoned in character and miserable in circumstances. While in
the land of strangers and in the hour of sickness, you have sadly felt
your forlorn, desolate condition. You have passed long nights and
weary days of restlessness and pain, away from your mother and
sisters, with none but stranger hands to do a kindly office for you,
and no Christian hope to sustain you.
You were seeking after happiness, but did not obtain it. You
had neglected the advice of your mother and her entreaties not to
violate the commands of God. At times this neglect has caused you
bitterness of spirit. But I cannot enter into every particular, for I am
not strong. I will dwell upon the most essential things shown me.
I saw that a work is before you which you do not comprehend. It
is to die to self, to crucify self. You have a quick, impetuous temper,
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which you must subdue. You possess noble traits of character, which
will secure you friends if your hasty spirit does not wound. You
have a strong attachment for those who manifest an interest for you.
When you comprehend things aright you are conscientious; but you
often move from impulse, without stopping to reflect.
You pass your judgment upon individuals, and comment upon
their ways and manners, when you do not understand their position or
their work. You view things from your standpoint and then are ready
to question or condemn the course they pursue, without candidly
viewing matters on all sides. You have no knowledge of the duties
of others and should not feel responsible for their acts, but do your
duty, leaving others with the Lord. Possess your spirit in patience,
preserve peace and calmness of mind, and be thankful.
I saw that the Lord had given you light and experience, that you
might see the sinfulness of a hasty spirit and control your passions.
So surely as you fail to do this, just so surely you will fail of ever-
lasting life. You must overcome this disease of the imagination. You
are extremely sensitive, and if a word is spoken favoring an opposite
course from that which you have been pursuing, you are hurt. You
feel that you are blamed, and that you must defend yourself, save
your life; and in your earnest effort to save your life, you lose it. You