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Chapter 68—Mistaken Sensitiveness
Dear Sister M,
Your case is upon my mind, and I cannot forbear to commit to
writing my convictions from what I have seen in regard to you. I am
satisfied that you are wandering in mist and darkness. You do not
see things in the right light. You blind your eyes in regard to your
own case by excusing yourself thus: “I would not have done this or
that if it had not been for certain influences of others which led me
to that course of action.”
You are continually finding fault with circumstances, which is
nothing less than finding fault with providences. You are continually
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casting about for somebody or something to answer the place of a
scapegoat, upon which you can lay the blame of having brought
you into a position to feel and speak unworthy of a Christian. In-
stead of simply censuring yourself for your defects, you censure the
circumstances and occasions which led you to develop the traits in
your character which lie dormant or hid beneath the surface unless
something arises to disturb and arouse them to life and action. Then
they appear in all their deformity and strength.
You deceive yourself with the idea that these unamiable traits do
not exist, until you are brought into positions which make you act
and speak in a manner that reveals them to all. You are not willing to
see and confess that it is your carnal nature which has not yet been
transformed and brought into subjection to Christ. You have not yet
crucified self.
You sometimes pass along days and weeks without developing
the spirit of evil which I have named impatience, and a dictatorial
spirit, a desire to control your husband. Your loving to rule and to
bring others to your ideas has nearly ruined yourself and him. You
love to suggest and to dictate to others. You love to have them feel
and see that you have the very best light, and are especially led of
God. If they do not, you begin to surmise, to become jealous, to feel
a spirit of unrest; you are dissatisfied and exceedingly unhappy.
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