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Testimonies for the Church Volume 2
Nothing so readily arouses the evil traits in your character as
to dispute your wisdom and judgment in exercising your authority.
Your strong, overbearing spirit, which has appeared to slumber, is
roused to its fullest energy. Self then controls you, and you are
no more governed by candid reason and calm judgment than is an
insane person. Self in all its strength wrestles for the mastery, and
it will take the firmest mind to hold you in restraint. After your
fit of insanity has gone by, then you can bear to have your course
questioned. But you stand ready to justify yourself by the plea that
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you are so sensitive; you feel so deeply; you suffer so much. I saw
that all this will not excuse you in the sight of God. You mistake
pride for sensitiveness. Self is prominent. When self is crucified,
then this sensitiveness, or pride, will die; until then you are not a
Christian. To be a Christian is to be Christlike, to possess humility
and a meek and quiet spirit that will bear contradiction without
being enraged or becoming insane. If the deceptive covering which
is about you could be rent asunder, so that you could see yourself as
God sees you, you would no longer seek to justify self, but would
fall all broken upon Christ, the only One who can remove the defects
in your character and then bind you up.
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