Great Decision
31
mother and father at the very time when they need a strong son to
lean upon? And will she withdraw him from their society to carry
out her plans and to suit her own pleasure, and leave the father and
mother who, instead of gaining an affectionate daughter, will have lost
a son
[47]
Qualities to Be Sought in a Prospective Husband—Before giv-
ing her hand in marriage, every woman should inquire whether he with
whom she is about to unite her destiny is worthy. What has been his
past record? Is his life pure? Is the love which he expresses of a noble,
elevated character, or is it a mere emotional fondness? Has he the traits
of character that will make her happy? Can she find true peace and
joy in his affection? Will she be allowed to preserve her individuality,
or must her judgment and conscience be surrendered to the control
of her husband? ... Can she honor the Saviour’s claims as supreme?
Will body and soul, thoughts and purposes, be preserved pure and
holy? These questions have a vital bearing upon the well-being of
every woman who enters the marriage relation
Let the woman who desires a peaceful, happy union, who would
escape future misery and sorrow, inquire before she yields her affec-
tions, Has my lover a mother? What is the stamp of her character?
Does he recognize his obligations to her? Is he mindful of her wishes
and happiness? If he does not respect and honor his mother, will he
manifest respect and love, kindness and attention, toward his wife?
When the novelty of marriage is over, will he love me still? Will he
be patient with my mistakes, or will he be critical, overbearing, and
dictatorial? True affection will overlook many mistakes; love will not
discern them
Accept Only Pure, Manly Traits—Let a young woman accept
as a life companion only one who possesses pure, manly traits of
character, one who is diligent, aspiring, and honest, one who loves and
fears God
Shun those who are irreverent. Shun one who is a lover of idleness;
shun the one who is a scoffer of hallowed things. Avoid the society
[48]
of one who uses profane language, or is addicted to the use of even
11
Letter 23, 1886
.
12
Testimonies For The Church 5:362
.
13
Fundamentals of Christian Education, 105
.
14
The Ministry of Healing, 359
.