Common Courtship Practices
39
thoughts will manifest themselves in unholy actions. How essential it
is, then, that the youth so gird up the loins of their mind and guard their
conduct that Satan cannot beguile them from the path of uprightness
Deceptive Practices in Courtship—A young man who enjoys
the society and wins the friendship of a young lady unbeknown to her
parents does not act a noble Christian part toward her or toward her
parents. Through secret communications and meetings he may gain
an influence over her mind, but in so doing he fails to manifest that
nobility and integrity of soul which every child of God will possess.
In order to accomplish their ends, they act a part that is not frank and
open and according to the Bible standard, and prove themselves untrue
to those who love them and try to be faithful guardians over them.
[58]
Marriages contracted under such influences are not according to the
word of God. He who would lead a daughter away from duty, who
would confuse her ideas of God’s plain and positive commands to obey
and honor her parents, is not one who would be true to the marriage
obligations....
“Thou shalt not steal” was written by the finger of God upon the
tables of stone, yet how much underhand stealing of affections is
practiced and excused! A deceptive courtship is maintained, private
communications are kept up, until the affections of one who is inex-
perienced, and knows not whereunto these things may grow, are in a
measure withdrawn from her parents and placed upon him who shows
by the very course he pursues that he is unworthy of her love. The
Bible condemns every species of dishonesty....
This underhand way in which courtships and marriages are carried
on is the cause of a great amount of misery, the full extent of which is
known only to God. On this rock thousands have made shipwreck of
their souls. Professed Christians, whose lives are marked with integrity,
and who seem sensible upon every other subject, make fearful mistakes
here. They manifest a set, determined will that reason cannot change.
They become so fascinated with human feelings and impulses that they
have no desire to search the Bible and come into close relationship
with God
6
The Review and Herald, November 4, 1884
.
7
Fundamentals of Christian Education, 101-103
.