Chapter 12—Compatibility
Adapted to Each Other—In many families there is not that Chris-
tian politeness, that true courtesy, deference, and respect for one an-
other that would prepare its members to marry and make happy families
of their own. In the place of patience, kindness, tender courtesy, and
Christian sympathy and love, there are sharp words, clashing ideas,
and a criticizing, dictatorial spirit
It is often the case that persons before marriage have little oppor-
tunity to become acquainted with each other’s habits and disposition;
and, so far as everyday life is concerned, they are virtually strangers
when they unite their interests at the altar. Many find, too late, that they
are not adapted to each other, and lifelong wretchedness is the result
of their union. Often the wife and children suffer from the indolence
and inefficiency or the vicious habits of the husband and father
The world is full of misery and sin today in consequence of ill-
assorted marriages. In many cases it takes only a few months for
husband and wife to realize that their dispositions can never blend;
and the result is that discord prevails in the home, where only the love
and harmony of heaven should exist.
By contention over trivial matters a bitter spirit is cultivated. Open
disagreements and bickering bring inexpressible misery into the home
and drive asunder those who should be united in the bonds of love.
Thus thousands have sacrificed themselves, soul and body, by unwise
marriages and have gone down in the path of perdition
[84]
Perpetual Differences in a Divided Home—The happiness and
prosperity of the married life depend upon the unity of the parties.
How can the carnal mind harmonize with the mind that is assimilated
to the mind of Christ? One is sowing to the flesh, thinking and act-
ing in accordance with the promptings of his own heart; the other
is sowing to the Spirit, seeking to repress selfishness, to overcome
1
The Review and Herald, February 2, 1886
.
2
Patriarchs and Prophets, 189
.
3
Messages to Young People, 453
.
57