74
The Adventist Home
Though difficulties, perplexities, and discouragements may arise,
let neither husband nor wife harbor the thought that their union is a
mistake or a disappointment. Determine to be all that it is possible to
be to each other. Continue the early attentions. In every way encourage
each other in fighting the battles of life. Study to advance the happiness
of each other. Let there be mutual love, mutual forbearance. Then
marriage, instead of being the end of love, will be as it were the very
beginning of love. The warmth of true friendship, the love that binds
heart to heart, is a foretaste of the joys of heaven
All should cultivate patience by practicing patience. By being kind
and forbearing, true love may be kept warm in the heart, and qualities
will be developed that Heaven will approve
The Enemy Will Seek to Alienate—Satan is ever ready to take
advantage when any matter of variance arises, and by moving upon
the objectionable, hereditary traits of character in husband or wife, he
will try to cause the alienation of those who have united their interests
in a solemn covenant before God. In the marriage vows they have
promised to be as one, the wife covenanting to love and obey her
husband, the husband promising to love and cherish his wife. If the
law of God is obeyed, the demon of strife will be kept out of the family,
and no separation of interests will take place, no alienation of affection
will be permitted
Counsel to a Strong-willed Couple—Neither husband nor wife
is to make a plea for rulership. The Lord has laid down the principle
[107]
that is to guide in this matter. The husband is to cherish his wife as
Christ cherishes the church. And the wife is to respect and love her
husband. Both are to cultivate the spirit of kindness, being determined
never to grieve or injure the other....
Do not try to compel each other to do as you wish. You cannot do
this and retain each other’s love. Manifestations of self-will destroy
the peace and happiness of the home. Let not your married life be one
of contention. If you do, you will both be unhappy. Be kind in speech
and gentle in action, giving up your own wishes. Watch well your
words, for they have a powerful influence for good or for ill. Allow
5
The Ministry of Healing, 360
.
6
The Review and Herald, February 2, 1886
.
7
Letter 18a, 1891
.