Proper Discipline and Education of our Children
247
shows that he does not approve of the discipline the mother gives; if
he feels that she is too strict and thinks that he must make up for the
harshness by petting and indulgence, the child will be ruined. He will
soon learn that he can do as he pleases. Parents who commit this sin
against their children are accountable for the ruin of their souls
Parents should first learn to control themselves, then they can more
successfully control their children. Every time they lose self-control,
and speak and act impatiently, they sin against God. They should first
reason with their children, clearly point out their wrongs, show them
their sin, and impress upon them that they have not only sinned against
their parents, but against God. With your own heart subdued and full
of pity and sorrow for your erring children, pray with them before
correcting them. Then your correction will not cause your children to
hate you. They will love you. They will see that you do not punish
them because they have put you to inconvenience, or because you wish
to vent your displeasure upon them; but from a sense of duty, for their
good, that they may not be left to grow up in sin
The Danger of Too Severe Training
There are many families of children who appear to be well trained
while under the training discipline; but when the system which has
held them to set rules is broken up, they seem to be incapable of
thinking, acting, or deciding for themselves.
The severe training of youth, without properly directing them to
think and act for themselves as their own capacity and turn of mind will
allow, that by this means they may have growth of thought, feelings
of self-respect, and confidence in their own ability to perform, will
ever produce a class who are weak in mental and moral power. And
when they stand in the world to act for themselves they will reveal the
fact that they were trained like the animals, and not educated. Their
wills, instead of being guided, were forced into subjection by the harsh
discipline of parents and teachers.
Those parents and teachers who boast of having complete control
of the minds and wills of the children under their care would cease
their boastings could they trace out the future lives of the children who
288
The Adventist Home, 310-315
289
Testimonies for the Church 1:398